Spam Scout's been down with the flu, but fortunately the spam has stayed consistently brilliant in his absence. Here's a double-sized list for all those devastated faithfuls from last week. Thanks to Elizabeth, Adam and Jenny for contributing to this list.
20. Hub for all who dreams [Don't think about it, just enjoy the beauty of the language.]
19. Jerk or not, she's so hot
18. I was punched on a street [It was a head punch, so I don't remember what street it was, or what I was doing...]
17. Could you pass me again? [There's something vaguely creepy about this one...]
16. Lose weight and feel less bloated
15. Judge pees during finals
14. We know how to steal your pain and illnesses
13. His soul is flying in the dim [This writer just barely got their MFA in poetry, but decided to focus their talents on spam writing instead. We're glad they did.]
12. Need some Cazanova's caplets?
11. Look how gorgeous
10. Don't be stupid paying so much money for drugs. [I'm sorry, damn...]
9. And all were as happy as happy could be
8. You can not only make your tool look bigger, you can actually make it bigger. [In other words, set aside the molding clay, guys. This is for real.]
7. Boning four girls is now real!
6. Bessie will help you pack your things [Remember Bessie from the last list? She just returned, but now it looks like she's leaving again. And she's taking you with her.]
5. How about freedom from diseases and pain?
4. Are the lands where the Jumblies live [I could spend all day lazing about in the land of the jumblies.]
3. Good day TO You!!!!!! [The capitalization of TO really makes this one. And that's six, count 'em, six exclamation marks.]
2. Your favorite ardor hoister! [Ardor hoister may be a contender for best spam phrase of the year.]
1. You can trick the nature and make a monster out of your timid animal. [Not just any nature...THE nature.]
Until next time, keep sending in great spam!